100 Ways To Be Kind To Your Child

As parents, it's our duty to be amiable to our kids, we should be the first people to show them some kindness. Who would've thought there are ways you can find over the internet on how to become one?! I'm glad I found this cos I know that no matter how hard I try to become the permissive mom there are still things I'm missing.

I'm sharing this to you fellow mommies!

Tell to your child:

1. I love you.
2. I love you no matter what.
3. I love you even when you are angry at me.
4. I love you even when I am angry with you.
5. I love you when you are far way.  My love for you can reach you wherever you are.
6. If I could pick any 4 year old (5,6,7 year old…) in the whole wide world, I’d pick you.
7. I love you to the moon and then around the stars and back again.
8. Thank you.
9. I enjoyed playing with you today.
10. My favorite part of the day was when I was with you and we were _______.

Tell them:
11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you cuddled them when they were a baby.
13. The story of how you chose their name.
14. A story about yourself when you were their age.
15. A story about how their grandparents met.
16. What your favorite color is.
17. That sometimes you struggle too.
18. That when you’re holding hands and you give three squeezes, it’s a secret code that means, “I love you”.
19. What the plan is.
20. What you’re doing right now.

Play:
21. Freeze Tag
22. Uno
23. Crazy 8s
24. Gin Rummy
25. Memory
26. Go Fish
27. I Spy- especially when you’re tired of driving and feel snappish
28. Catch

Pretend:
29. To catch their kiss and put it on your cheek.
30. That their tickle tank is empty and you have to fill it.
31. That their high five is so powerful it nearly knocks you over.
32. That you are super ticklish.
33. That you are explorers in the amazing new world of your backyard.
34. That it’s party day!  Decorate for no reason!

Try:
35. To get enough sleep.
36. To drink enough water.
37. To eat decent food.
38. Wearing earrings, or whatever makes you feel pretty.
39. Calling a friend the next time you feel like you are about to lose it with the kids.
40. Giving a gentle touch to show approval, rather than saying something.
41. Dancing in the kitchen.
42. To get your kids to bop to the music with you in the car.
43. Showing your kids that you can do a somersault or handstand or a cartwheel.
44. Keeping that sigh to yourself.  Just jump in and help clean up cheerfully.
45. Using a kind voice, even if you have to fake it.

Read:
46. A book of silly poems.
47. A book and then act it out. (Like “I’m going on a Bear Hunt”)
48. Your favorite childhood book to them.
49. When the afternoon is starting to go astray.
50. Outside under a tree.
51. In the library kids corner.
52. The comic book they love that you’re not so hot on.
53. About age appropriate behavior so you can keep your expectations realistic.

Listen:
54. To your child in the car.
55. To that Lego description, and think how important it is to your child.
56. For that question that indicates your child really needs your input.
57. One second longer than you think you have patience for.
58. For the feelings behind your child’s words.

Ask:
59. Why do you think that happens?
60. What do you think would happen if______?
61. How shall we find out?
62. What are you thinking about?
63. What was your favorite part of the day?
64. What do you think this tastes like?

Show:
65. Your child how to do something instead of banning them from it.
66. How to whistle with a blade of grass.
67. How to shuffle cards- make a bridge if you can!
68. How to cut food.
69. How to fold laundry.
70. How to look up information when you don’t know the answer.
71. Affection to your spouse.
72. That taking care of yourself is important.

Take Time:
73. To watch construction sites.
74. To look at the birds.
75. To allow your child to help you dump ingredients in the bowl.
76. To walk places together.
77. To dig in the dirt together.
78. To do a task at your child’s pace.
79. To just sit with you child while they play.

Trust:
80. That your child is capable.
81. That you are the right parent for your child.
82. That you are enough.
83. That you can do what is right for your family.

Delight your child:
84. Clean your child’s room as a surprise.
85. Put chocolate chips in the pancakes.
86. Put a love note in their lunch.
87. Make their snack into a smile face shape.
88. Make sounds effects while you help them do something.
89. Sit on the floor with them to play.

Let Go:
90. Of the guilt.
91. Of how you thought it was going to be.
92. Of your need to be right.

Give:
93. A look with Kind Eyes to your child.
94. A smile when your child walks into the room.
95. A kind touch back when your child touches you.
96. The chance to connect before you correct so that your child can actually hear your words.
97. Your child a chance to work out their frustrations before helping them.
98. A bath when the day feels long.
99. A hug.
100. You get to choose the next one!  What is your favorite way to be kind to your child?

Source: Creative With Kids

Soleil Helped Me With The Dishes

(Please excuse our very dirty kitchen)
Soleil's been bugging me everyday to let her do our dishes. I refused to, well at least for now! She's only 6, she have all the time in the world to wash the dishes and will eventually get tired of doing it when she's older.

Guess what? I eat up my words! Because today I allowed her to help me. I let her do it but still with my guidance. Our plates are pure ceramics, it's heavy! She's in charge with soaping and rinsing while I'm the one holding it for her. I had to repeat washing it though cos there's still bubbles left to rinse. And this is the first and last time I'll let her help me, she can do it alone when she's 13. Maybe!?

I asked Jeff to capture this moment. My little barbie doll is like I said growing way too fast! I need to savor every moment we spent together.

Our House Is A Mess

I'm an OC when it comes to organizing stuff. I don't want a home full of furniture that eat spaces and you can't move freely, especially now that we are renting a small apartment which has an area of I think less than 60sq. meters. The only pro is, it's easier to clean. Before I dwindle in front of the computer, I make sure I finished all household chores in line for me because I'm not comfortable sitting in chaos.

I went back to sleep at 6:30am today and woke up little later than Jeff and Soleil. And what I see surprises me. Naloka talaga ko because the house was clean bago ko matulog. We don't have a maid to help me with the chores, it's always me who do everything, including laundry (na super hate kong gawin). My hands are not even as soft, it's a bit frustrating already but I don't complain because it's what wives and moms do but sometimes it makes me wanna cry. Really!

Soleil loves taking all her toys and things in the living area tapos  lilipat naman sya sa kwarto para dun magkalat. Si Jeff, isa pa din! He will arrive home at 4am, take his shoes off and leave it below the sofa with his socks then his office clothes on top of the sofa tapos yung backpack nya sa ibabaw ng dining table. It's always like that everyday, so same routine din ako sa paglilinis. Haaay! If only I can have a robot to help me clean all this mess!

PS: Malinis na sya ngayon. Teehee!

 

Handling your little spoiled brat

I'm the mommy who blunders. I always try to give Soleil everything she wants that sometimes I feel like I'm already going overboard. She is now slowly turning into a spoiled brat and whenever I don't grant her demands, she'll cry. She will not stop until she gets them. She'll drag me whenever we pass by a store and point out whatever it is that she saw. It's hard to say no to your child (mommies would agree) but I'm also distraught that I'm leading her to the wrong path. She's only 6, I don't wanna think grungy when she turns older.

Yesterday, I gave her a hundred and fifty bucks to keep in her wallet, she can also spend it if she wants to buy something. I also told her that she needs to save it because I'll only give her money twice a month and that is every after 15 days. (which gives her 10php to spend a day). This is the only option I can think of to teach her in handling her own money at an early age, I know 6 years old doesn't supposed to be having their own money yet but if I don't do it now, when? I thought of teaching her now than start when she's already a spender and I guess I did the right thing because when we went to the supermarket in the afternoon, she only bought candy worth 19php and did not spend everything I gave her.

I'm intoxicated that she don't wanna squander all her wads. Now, I'm praying to completely chop off her teeny tiny antlers.

BTW, Maybe this story can help fellow mommies out there who's having problems like mine. It helped me too!

Children Don’t Listen To Anger, They Listen To Action by Kevin Leman.

4-year old Julio is at the back of the car, throwing a temper tantrum. He screams, “I hate you Mommy!” Mommy, instead of using anger, uses action. A few minutes after they arrive home, Julio goes to the kitchen. He looks for his milk and cookies—and it’s not there. At that point, his quiet world is discombobulated. Because kids are creatures of habit. Every afternoon, Mommy always prepares milk and cookies. So Julio goes to his mother and asks, “Mommy, where are my milk and cookies?” Very calmly, mommy says, “No milk and cookies today.” She then turns around and walks away. (This step is very important.) Little Julio runs after her. (Kids always do.) He asks, “Why Mommy? Why? Why? Why?” This is a teachable moment. This is when he is actually open to what Mommy has to say. She says, “Because I didn’t like what you did in the car. You had a temper tantrum. (Mommy acts it out just to make it clearer to the little guy.) And you said, ‘I hate you, Mommy.’ That hurt me very much.” By this time, little Julio is bawling, “I’m so sorry Mommy! I won’t do it again.” Mommy says, “I forgive you,Julio.” She hugs him. That’s when Julio whimpers, his big eyes filled with giant tears, “Mommy, can I have my milk and cookies now?” Here’s the secret sauce of this powerful action. Mommy says, “No milk and cookies today. You’ll have it tomorrow.” Believe me, Julio will never forget the lesson. Why? Because kids don’t listen to your anger. They listen to action. And you only have to do this once or twice. He’ll never throw another temper tantrum again.

PS: If you think I'm doing it wrong, then please tell me what's right.

Photo from Google